Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Post Number Thirty-Nine: Sex Vampires

Of the Relationship Between Men and Sex

I am fond of Gothic stories. In particular, I love Vampire stories. In the recent years, a new series of vampire stories were written by Anne Rice. Although I never read any of her books, I made an opinion of what kind of atmosphere she has created by watching recent movies on vampires. Interview with the Vampire was superb. I also enjoyed Underworld. I actually find underground goth culture fascinating.
Vampires, in modern literature, have created a sort of society, with allegiances and feuds, with subtleties and tricks. Something between Masonry and the Vatican. But all the social bonds fall apart when vampires need to feed. In the end, they are predators and they are after one thing above all: Blood.

Human males (and males of other species) have one thing in common with vampires. They have also created a sort of society, with their allegiances and their cult for the ultimate Penis deity, but everything falls apart when men need to fornicate.
The verb to fornicate, usually expressed in the form to fuck, is generally defined as a sexual intercourse between a non-married couple. Wow, there's a lot in this sentence. Sexual intercourse. Couple. Non-married.
It is generally agreed that sexual intercourse consists in putting the Penis deity inside a vagina and then move it in such a way as to create a friction with the labia and inner vaults of said vagina. This action normally requires :
1) a penis and
2) a vagina
Normally, men are endowed with only one of these requirements and this creates the first, grand problem of men. Fornication requires a couple. At least two individuals. One has a penis and the other provides a hole, preferably a vagina.
Women have a complex and refined relationship with sex. The way a woman approaches the feeling connected with sexual intercourse is so intense that it often resents poetry. Each woman feels intercourse in a different way. Some women are even afraid of that pleasure. Most men try to teach women that the pleasure they derive from sex is wrong. Some even indulge in telling them that taking pleasure from sexual intercourse is evil for a woman, that women are not meant to enjoy it. Some, especially in Africa, go straightforward mutilating clits and locking vaginas with stitches when the girls are still babies. It's called infibulation and it is the ultimate brutality of men against women.
Anyway, men live sex in a totally different way. Men rever the size of their penis, men love their leader and they measure his might by the size of his penis, but ultimately everything men do ends up in one thing: their need to put their own penis, no matter how large it is, inside a vagina, no matter whose vagina. When a woman's bladder is full, she feels the need to pee. When the penis of a man is bored, it feels the need to fuck. Sex for a man is like the need to pee for a woman.
Confronted with this desperate desire, men forget everything about leaders, masters, sexy women, power, war, evil, good, and whatnot. They need a hole and they need it soon. As soon as they have eased their need, they'll be back to the old society and its rules, but before, it's like blood for a vampire. Anything else comes second.
Men are so driven by this need for sex that they do not even really enjoy sexual intercourse as much as women do. There is no comparison between a man's and a woman's orgasm. Judging from how sex has evolved, it seems that in the human race sex has the purpose of pleasing women and calming down men.
Men find a humongous obstacle on their penis' path to the holiest of holes. Since women do not approach sexual life like they approach a toilet, sometimes they just do not wish to have sex with a particular man. Maybe they'll love to have sex with every other man in the world but one. And that one really needs to pee his sperm cells somewhere.
There are usually two possible solution for the most desperate man:
1) masturbation: that is, using his own hand to create the required friction and temporarily solve his problem. It doesn't feel completely the same, yet I have heard of men that indulge in this activity more than five times per day. Quite a feat indeed.
2) rape: that is, whether the girl likes it or not, the brutish ape will put his own penis inside her vagina, end of the story. This is usually considered very bad manners and quite heedless as far as the girl is concerned. Sometimes, even men understand it's not too nice to rape girls, especially because it could be their girl.
Their girl.
What does it mean, their girl? Certainly, men do not think they own other men, usually, but they think they own a girl. Here's what happened at a certain point of men's history.

Men needed to feed their penis with some friction, and normally they would prefer a different girl's hole each time, but it's a rather difficult task to convince a number of women to provide their holes and besides, men like to know the offsprings are theirs and not someone else's. So men sat around a table and thought: how do we get to put our penis in a hole whenever we need to feed it and at the same time stop killing each other because we fear someone else is reproducing? Then, some particularly brilliant man proposed: There's enough women for every men after all, so instead of fornicating with every girl we meet, let's put a sign of some sort on one particular girl and let's call it a property of one man only! Each one gets a hole to feed his penis and no one gets hurt. Cool uh?
It was of course a man's idea, therefore quite an imbecile one, especially because women weren't asked an opinion (maybe they would rather have more than one man around, considering the high risk they ran that one man could be an imbecile). Men didn't really care too much about women back then (neither they do today, normally) and stood up clapping their hands and chose a name for this certificate of property, and they called it marriage, and decided that it was such a good thing, that each man could have his own personal sex toy for free , that they even invoked their religions to bless the idea. They decided that it was a Divine Institution, that the entire society could be founded on this cool thing. Amazing, men thought: now they could take one girl, celebrate a marriage, and their penises would have a permanent hole to enjoy friction with.
Men established precise rules: once a girl is owned it's private property and other men can't have it. You know, it's because it's hard to get some resources to exploit and sharing what is so rare already would be disastrous. Besides, there always was that children matter, and who the father was...
Unluckily men hadn't taken into account a few interesting details:
1) girls also enjoy sex, much more than they do, yet they are not enslaved by any need to fuck.
2) knowing that a girl is someone else's property induces other men to steal it, if anything to show that man that they own a much larger penis (being the size strictly connected with blunt actions like stealing girls)
3) girls are not objects
number 3) is still impossibly taught to men even nowadays.

In order to account for points 1) and 2), men created laws to punish adultery (usually punishing the girl), instructed girls that sex is bad and evil and so on. For point 3) there's nothing to do. There's only that much a man's brain can fathom, and as we say in Italian, one can't squeeze blood out of turnips.

Nowadays, after millennia since marriage was invented, men are horrified when girls enjoy sex. They see that as a potential threat basically: a girl that plays around with her vagina is likely to be impossibly contained within the bonds of marriage. It's a disaster. They might not own her, ever. She might be impossible to tame and to instruct to give her vagina for free to one man only.
Giving it for free by the way is critical for men. Having to pay for sex feels like paying a tax on breatheable air. Can you imagine a vampire having to pay to drink blood? What's worst is that the need for blood is so intense that a vampire would pay for it, but then he would feel like shit. Men hate it when they have to pay to feed the needs of their penis. That's why they are so quick at chastizing prostitution. Not only they have to bear the pain of needing to put the penis in a vagina, but they also need to pay to satisfy this natural necessity. How evil.

Men are sex vampires.

For a standard man, it doesn't really matter how beautiful or intelligent or important his woman is. Have a look at the standard laymen couple. Unfulfilled and dissatisfied human blobs. Why? Because they got married simply because she was the only woman that gave his penis a hole for free. Sometimes men are beyond redemption. I would rather take an Oscar Wilde then, one that has the guts to seek pleasure rather than the need to pee.

Because, luckily, as well as not all men revere their penis, not all men confuse sex with the need to pee. Hedonists (a category of people which I respect a lot) seek pleasure above all, they would never have sex with anyone unless this anyone is a pleasurable person. But they would never have sex with one person only as well.

In a certain sense I am also a hedonist, in the sense that I also seek pleasure in my own way. I don't go for the excesses that are typical of real hedonists of course. But I despise immoral chauvinist institutions that are meant to frustrate life rather than exhalting it.

Personally, I am not fond of sex. I understand and appreciate those that seek it for their pleasure, but personally I find it annoying as I said somewhere else. Foreplay and other practices are much more fun. The best, in my opinion, is taking a woman to orgasm without the need to have intercourse with her. Playing with a woman's body to provide her with pleasure is almost an artistic way to enjoy sexual life. In my opinion.

I also have a very peculiar relationship with activities that others relate to sex.
I'll give an example. Whenever I was told I could, I loved to kiss my friends. I am speaking of course of French kisses. Kisses are lovely. They are sweet and intimate and not nearly a sexual activity, regardless of what everyone else believes. I love to French girls, but I prefer to kiss friends: it's a great way to tell them I adore them. But of course, most of them would disagree on this point. And I am not really the type that would infringe their rules.

But then again, this would take me too far, and it's too late, and this post is about men and their vampiric attitude towards sex. So, goodnight, and see you.

PS: There was another entry number thirty nine before. I read it and considered it disgusting. I couldn't accept I wrote it. So I made this one, which is a lot better. In my opinion.