Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Post Number Twenty-Four: Pope-a-doodle-doo

Of the Pope(s)

I doubt someone didn't notice but in case one of my readers happens to have spent the past 30 days on the Moon or on Mars, John Paul II is dead. Let's be frank, I have already stated I considered him an old bastard. Or a young bastard when he wasn't old. I was anyway horrendously disgusted by the mediatic hysteria that surrounded this old man's death.

They want him a Saint now. Go ahead, I don't care, it's their crap, not mine. They are also going to grant him the honor of being remember by history as "John Paul, the Great". Great? Tsk...
Oh, well, the reason they are asking for him to be known as the Great is that they think he did a lot of things he never did at all, but anyway I am glad (surprised?) that our vain society has found at least one person to be remembered as the Great, someone that (although he didn't really deserve it) should be recorded by History, our greatest Teacher.

The old Pope is gone, and as usual the new one is made. Benedict XVI. At least this one has a decent Pope's name. I was really tired of John Pauls. Popes are supposed to be called Innocent, Pious, Paul, John, Benedict, Bonifacius... what's this double named crap? John Paul? Bah... Give me my sounding ancient names of Leo III and Bonifacius VIII.
Apart from the chosen name all the rest about this man is as annoying as it was with John Paul. Old, stubborn, medieval, dull, boring, and revoltingly conservative. Another enemy of all the things I hold dearest (freedom, independence, variety, multi-culturalism, cosmopolitism). I am going to hate Benedict not a jot less than John Paul. In fact, I heard his words the other day before they ordained him a Pope and I thought "If God exists this son of a bitch can't be a Pope". He's the new Pope. I wonder what this tells us about the existence of God.

Anyway there is little to wonder about Benedict XVI. He's the chosen man of the real controller of the Catholic Church. John Paul? Only a puppet, a pawn in the hands of a scheming mastermind, the overlord of Cardinals, the Gray Eminence behind all the subtleties of the Vatican. This person is the corrupted, evil, contorted fanatic known as Cardinal RUINI. Fear this name.

Don't worry, my dear Atheist, Agnostic and Free-thinking friends: Nothing has changed. We still have a mentally retarded Pope to hate, the Church will continue its process of dehumanization of the world and we won't feel the difference with John Paul. A Pope dies, a new one is made. And nothing changes. Ever.

Habemus Papam.